For 16 months nap time has consisted of Levi sleeping on me. Numerous attempts at transferring him to the crib have failed. Most days I try. Some days I simply don’t have the energy. Having a baby sound asleep on you is lovely, of course. Nothing sweeter.
I have received lots of advice along the way for how to make the best of this napping situation. Suggestions for reading or using that time to rest myself are well-meaning and certainly helpful. I try not to ever go into nap time without my Kindle in hand.
Then there is always the (also valid) “babies don’t keep” advice. I have, of course, given this advice to myself in the past. So I always attempt to embrace nap time as our cozy cuddle time – time that won’t last, as I am well aware.
Yesterday, nap time: he nurses; he falls asleep; I transfer him into crib; he stays asleep! I feel joy and freedom. Immense freedom. So what do I do? I run and grab the mop.
I am mopping without wearing a toddler nor having one clinging to my legs. I am spraying the cleaner with reckless abandon. I am thinking about how I have given up cuddle time with my sweet babe for the act of mopping. I think about how everyone says “the dishes can wait.”
But you know what?
Mopping makes me happy. Yes, cuddling with my little love for 16 months has made me happy too. But it has also made me frustrated – at times feeling trapped, unproductive, useless. And I feel no shame. I don’t feel like I am any less of mom for also admitting that the floors just cannot wait and nap time is the perfect moment for mopping.