It is hard to believe that I started this little mommy blog two years ago (see original “About us” page below). In those two years, I’ve had lots of big plans and goals for this writing space, none of which have come to fruition. And yet, the blog remains. I still write here–infrequently, but still…I persist. This is important because the blog itself stands as a representation of the ways in which I have had to change my thinking since the inception of “Life with Levi.”
The initial premise of the blog was to document my “bah-humbug” response to all of the trending advice about giving up the pursuit for perfection. As a hardcore third-wave feminist and new mom, I was still feeling fairly certain that we/I could indeed “have it all” and “have it all” look good in the process. As one might note, two years later there are still no images of perfect cupcakes to be found on this blog.
The shift in focus of the blog happened around the new year 2016–>2017 and mostly documented here, here, and here. The shift, of course, lives largely in my mind–in perception. The stories told here haven’t changed much. They are still about striving and falling short. They’re still about how I want(ed) and hope(d) for a certain outcome that most often doesn’t come to be. The blog is still (and now maybe more so) a collection of meditations on motherhood. The only perceivable difference might be found in may analysis of, my reactions to, my life scenarios.
Update on the specs: Levi is now heading toward two and a half. So far no terrible twos here, but it could still happen. Dawn and I will be married for three years and together for fourteen this June.
I’m Jenn. I’m the author of this blog and mother to Levi who is four months old.
This is Dawn. She is my partner. We have been together for 12 years and married for one.
This blog is/was inspired by Deborah Spar’s book Wonder Women: Sex, Power, and the Quest for Perfection. While I was trying to get pregnant, I decided to read this book instead of Lean In (it appealed to me more because it was written by an academic — like me — who climbed the ranks — something I don’t ever plan on doing, and because it wasn’t the book that everyone was reading). The goal of the book (in my opinion) is to alleviate some of the cultural stress and pressure placed on women to “have it all.” Feminism, as Spar describes it, lied to us when it convinced women they can “have it all.” This is not to say that women can’t have a successful career and a family (which is what the feminist mantra referred to), but, according to Spar, we probably can’t have a career, a family, AND a perfect house, perfect cupcakes, perfectly home-cooked meals, AND be sexy all of the time. Spar’s answer is pretty much forget about the perfect cupcakes and figure out how to have your career and raise your children. Her take seems to be focused on letting go of “keeping up with the Joneses”; instead, embrace imperfection. (This is certainly a simplified version of what the book is about. Spar actually gives a detailed look into the history of feminism and moves outside the walls of the domestic to college campuses, young women’s views of feminism, “hook up culture,” and so on). The book, however, had the opposite affect on me. After reading it, I wanted it all. I wanted the career, the kid, the immaculate house, AND (most importantly) the cupcakes.
Now that I have the kid in addition to my career — this blog will document my quest for the rest (pictures of the perfect cupcakes to follow…).