This post is not going to focus on the dumpster fire of a year that we all know 2020 to have been. Elements of that might come into play, but this post is meant to reflect on how I did with my 2020 resolutions despite the insanity of the year that just ended.
Let’s get started with the list of goals/resolutions from last year and reflections will be in purple:
2020 New Year’s Resolutions
- My number one (and most difficult) NYR this year: Listen to my body! (If my body feels tired or sick or ornery, it’s okay to attend to that and do what I need in order to feel better. It’s not going to be permanent (as is always my fear). It’s not the end of the world to rest and not get something done that I wanted (or even needed) to get done. Shockingly all the things do end up getting done somehow—even if I take a break sometimes. This is all stating the obvious, but it’s an obvious that I need regularly pointed out—and you probably do too!)
- All of the other goals and resolutions are contingent on this one. I think of it like George Orwell’s advice in “Politics and the English Language” when he lays out his six rules for writing well, and the sixth rule is to break any of the rules before writing anything “outright barbarous.” I’m trying to maintain these goals and resolutions, but I can drop any one of them if my body says no, it cannot do it.
- How’d I do? Okay, but not great. I tend to get very mad at myself/my body when it doesn’t do what I want it to do. I get into this mode of believing that I’ll never have energy again, or I’m going to feel shitty forever, when there is simply no evidence to uphold that notion. In 2021: I need to continue to be kinder to myself when trying to listen to my body.
- All of the other goals and resolutions are contingent on this one. I think of it like George Orwell’s advice in “Politics and the English Language” when he lays out his six rules for writing well, and the sixth rule is to break any of the rules before writing anything “outright barbarous.” I’m trying to maintain these goals and resolutions, but I can drop any one of them if my body says no, it cannot do it.
- Put away all my laundry before I go to sleep at night (I have serious doubts about upholding this one once the semester starts, but so far, so good).
- How’d I do? Better than I imagined! This has been a great practice for me. Having laundry put away makes me feel like I have myself together more than I actually do. There are nights, when I’m trying to honor resolution #1 when the basket sits there, which is okay too. I’ve recently added no excuses to this one on Sundays. All laundry MUST be put away on Sundays and to avoid being too tired to feel like doing so, I try to allot time early in the evening to getting this task done. In 2021: Continue on with this feel good resolution.
Get Levi to school on time- How’d I do? As I noted last year, this one barely lasted a day. However, Levi started kindergarten in September and elementary school is different than nursery school–you cannot just show up tardy every day. And so, not due to any resolution or even personal resolve, Levi started arriving (kind of) on time to school each day for the past few months. I say “kind of” because his school typically starts at 8; however, due to staggered drop off times because of Covid, we were blessed with an 8:15 drop off time (small pandemic blessings–we will take them…).
- No screen time after 9:30 (there are certain exceptions to this one related to TV viewing—like watching Jeopardy GOAT this week; in general this means stay off phone/iPad/computer after 9:30).
- How’d I do? This is an important one, I feel like. Like many of us living in the 21st Century managing my screen time (and now my son’s!) is something I struggle with and have taken many approaches to. Limiting my time online at night (as well as banning news intake at night) is something I find relatively easy to do. For awhile I tried to make the cut-off 9pm, but Levi stays up so late these days, and I do like a little bit of scrolling time after we put him to bed, that it 9:30 is more realistic. Overall, I do great with this and continue to stick with it.
- Meditate regularly
- How’d I do? Really I have a love/hate relationship with meditation. I understand its importance and the material effects it can have on managing my anxiety; however, I hate doing it. So I’m consistently falling off the wagon on this one, though I’m currently on and have tried to increase my time each day (encouraged to do so by reading the book, First, We Make the Beast Beautiful: A New Story About Anxiety): I aim for 10 minutes in the morning and 10 at night. Many days I miss, but that’s okay too.
- Stick to a budget (my life struggle)
- Pay bills that aren’t auto-pay on time
- How’d I do? I already mention this one is a life struggle, and it continues to be hard. I did a decent job though in the past year, which allowed me to pay off my car, which allows me to now have a slightly more expansive budget to stick to, so it should be easier in 2021 to meet this resolution.
- Better eating habits: What this means gets revised almost daily. In the past I’ve been a big fan of various challenges/detoxes like Whole30, 21 day sugar detox, Gutbliss, etc. I had planned to do another 10 day Gutbliss detox (no sugar, no alcohol, no dairy, no gluten, no artificial sweeteners, no soy) starting January 6th, but then, well…Levi’s birthday cupcakes were still kicking around, and I never got started. I’ve also started thinking about less restrictive (therefore, for me, more joyful) approaches to eating well. I need to do more reading about intuitive eating, which I feel like I do pretty well in general, but would like to know more about. For example, even though I love sweets (baked goods, in particular) nearly as much as I love my life and my family, my body also has serious sugar limitations and I know what those are (my brother has a video from a few years back of me after eating two desserts, and I can tell you, it has never happened since). All of this is to say, that this year (or at least for now), I have settled on a gentler approach to my eating goals.
- A not super-strict version of intermittent fasting. As with intuitive eating, this is something I could certainly afford to know more about, but in general the idea is to go 14-16 hours between dinner and breakfast. We generally eat dinner around 5:30/6 (earlier is better according to IF research), so I eat breakfast around 7:30/8 the next day. The big change in this for me is no after-dinner, pre-bed snacking. I’ve been doing this for about a week now, and I’m almost to the point of not feeling like I’m starving before I go to sleep. Also, I do start drinking coffee at 5:30am, and I’m not sure if this is “cheating” or not, but it’s not going to change, so there’s that.
- One-treat-a-day (O-tad—I just made that up). Basically, this is an after-lunch treat, as this is when I generally crave something sweet. The rest of the time (mid-morning and later afternoon), I can choose from a range of healthier treats like granola and yogurt, mixed nuts, fruit and crackers, crackers and hummus, rice cake and almond butter with honey, smoothie, hardboiled egg, apple with almond butter etc. Again, essentially what this has done is eliminate any evening/night treats (and when I am at my worst I would sometimes have three treats a day: mid-morning, afternoon, and evening/night!).
- How’d I do? More of the same on again/off again with this one, but mostly on with the no eating post-dinner/intermittent fasting. D and I both have done this for over a year now, and we both lost a few pounds, though that was never our intention–my goal was simply to give my belly more of a break. We have no idea what we could attribute that too other than the intermittent fasting/not eating post-dinner. My O-TAD plan is a little less consistent but still trying….
Life with Levi 